J-Drama Review: Fishbowl Wives (2022)

 For the entirety of my viewing of Netflix’s latest adult drama Fishbowl Wives (2022) I compared myself endlessly to the pensioner Mrs. Glick from The Simpsons. Anyone else remember the scene where Bart is at her house weeding the garden to raise some pocket money and Mrs. Glick is sat in her armchair watching a steamy day-time soap opera and commenting “filthy… but genuinely arousing”?

 This eight-part Japanese drama, inspired by Ryo Kurasawa’s 2017 manga series of the same name, will have you sitting there Mrs. Glick Style with your knitting (as I very much was) picking your jaw back up off the floor and praying no other member of your family walks in on you watching such smut.

 But Fishbowl Wives is compelling, heartfelt smut. Set in “The Heights”, an ultra-glamorous multi-storey Tokyo apartment complex. The secret misery and despair of the complexes married denizens is hidden well behind a mask of outward success and affluence. King and Queen of Living a Lie are the Hiraga family.

 Chain hair-salon owning extraordinaire power couple Sakura Hiraga (played by the warm and engaging Ryoko Shinohara) and her charming, handsome husband Takuya (played by Masanobu Ando, best known as Kazuo Kiriyama in Kinji Fukasaku’sBattle Royale) are equal parts envied and adored by fellow residents of “The Heights”. A beautiful pair of goldfish swimming around a shining bowl for all to admire, but the water within is dangerously dirty.

 The viewer soon learns that their relationship is more akin to that of Julia Roberts and Patrick Bergin’s in Sleeping withthe Enemy. Takuya is a serial womanizer and gaslighting wife beater. How much more will Sakura put up with before she’s pushed to breaking point? Isn’t there anyone who can help her find the natural strength and resilience inside her to take back control of her life?

 Cue Sakura’s goofily adorable extra-marital love interest HarutoKazama. Haruto owns the local goldfish shop and has more than a few skeletons in his closet, but will face them all if it means he can be with Sakura, who he genuinely loves. However, loving another man’s wife is risky business at the best of times, especially when the wife is viewed by the husband as a personal possession and punching bag for the sole use of the husband. It doesn’t take a genius to work out that Takuya is not going to be receptive to having another man take his toy out of his sandbox.

 Featuring disturbing scenes of sexual assault and domestic violence, the Sakura/Takuya/Harutolove triangle is the central pillar storyline. It’s a plot provokes strong reactions as a Westerner to the Japanese attitudes towards, and divorce laws governing, those trapped in violent marriages. Divorce, regardless of the circumstances, is still considered shameful.

 Less shameful than divorce, apparently, is infidelity. If there’s no shame in infidelity, then let me tell you, the other “Goldfish Wives” of the show are living proud as punch.

 There’s Bento Wife whose husband gets a little more than he bargains for when bringing in a third party to their bedroom. There’s Outsourcing Wife, who reasons that if her husband won’t give her the baby she so yearns for, someone else can. 

The Running Wife thinks that her husband is running away with her life and now she’s left with an identity that doesn’t belong to her. A desperate act of cheating is the only path to communication and ultimate reconciliation. 

And Renovation Wife, an adulterous, raging bitch at the best of times, cowed by an overbearing mother-in-law and high maintenance husband, finds solace and self-acceptance in the arms of a damaged contractor.

 Over-seeing, and openly encouraging these wives to stray and find both emotional and sexual satisfaction from whatever source they can is resident mystic Mei. Is Mei really psychic? Or does she just like seeing women take back some control over their own destinies and break free from the social constraints trapping all these goldfish women in ill-fitting bowls?

 Beautifully shot, clever “fishbowl” style camera work, exquisite lighting to capture and reflect moods, gorgeous musical underscore and rife with metaphor and social commentary, Fishbowl Wives is a gripping drama that is as heart-breaking as it is heart-racing. Imagine… a sexually explicit Desperate Housewives with meatier plots and considerably better acting.

 This won’t be for everyone. I enjoyed it immensely, it was hard to watch at times and not every minute of the show is flawless. But, if you’re looking for an excuse to melodramatically gasp and cry “Escandalo!” at the T.V. while clapping your hand to your cheek - then this is the show for you.

 5 stars from Straight Outta Kanto!

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Anime Movie Review: Belle (2021)

And next on The Masked Singer, everybody please welcome Belle to the stage! I jest, but still, it's hard not to draw comparisons between the two. Belle is the latest cinematic offering from Mamoru Hosoda, who brought us epic animated yarns such as The Girl Who Leapt Through Time, Mirai and The Boy and the Beast.

Belle centres around mopey young teenager Suzu. Suzu is still grieving over the not-so-recent tragic loss of her mother, growing more distant by the day with her father, withers at school around her more vibrant and confident peers and, worst of all for this once passionate musician, Suzu has lost her ability to sing. 

Things seem beyond all hope for listless Suzu until she one day stumbles upon a fully immersive social media site "U". U is a vast, vast virtual reality world where users have new personas created for them digitally based on their own personal biometrics.

In real life, Suzu is a gawky, be-freckled wallflower with no voice. In U, and under the careful career managment of her hilarious best friend Hiroka, she is transformed into the stunningly beautiful vocaloid Belle. (Bell being the English translation of her name). Gaining international mass media attention and fame as virtual singer Belle, the world becomes obsessed with discovering her true identitiy. 

However, it's not only the beautiful songstress that the denizens of U are dying to unmask. Who is this ferocious Dragon character going around causing a terrible ruckus and running amok!? Is he as vicious as he seems, or will music ultimately soothe the savage beast...?

As the lines between IRL and the digital world disintegrate, it's time for Suzu to leave the past behind and take firm charge of her future.

Belle is a blend of traditional fairytale, fantasy and vey grim reality. Suzu's rural home town is one of the most lush and verdant animated depictions of Japan I've ever seen, with painstaking day-to-day homelife details. 

I have a few issues with the world of U. The physics and mechanics of the virtual world aren't clearly explained, Suzu just appears to enter through her mobile phone and ear-pods, nothing more, which raises a lot of questions about whether she's slumped in the middle of the road drooling while her brain is transported to the fantastic other world!?

The blending of worlds and the themes of loss and triumph are nothing new for Mamoru Hosoda, but there's plenty of highs and lows, feelz and humour in Belle to keep audiences entertained and engaged. The visuals are spectacular, the plot is meaty and well paced and the sound track is exquisite.

Despite all these boxes being ticked, this still isn't the greatest movie of Hosoda's and feels like an elevated version of Summer Wars that's more style than substance. I'd give Belle a 7/10, mainly for the giant sonic whale that floats through U acting as Belle's personal stage. He is a breathtakingly majestic good boy.

Don't just take my word for this though! I saw Belle as a preview at The Lighthouse Cinema, Dublin with thanks to the Japanese Film Festival Ireland but it's now readily available for all nerds across Irish cinemas.

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J-Drama Review: Followers (2020)

 

If the grey old Irish winter has left you feeling gloomy and unglamorous then may I recommend a hearty dose of technicolour escapism?

Mika Ninagawa's latest T.V. series Followers (now on Netflix) is a compelling and vibrant drama focusing on two friend groups of sinfully stylish Tokyo urbanites. 

Tokyo Urbanite Group A are a gaggle of gorgeous, successful professional women (and their assorted lovers and gay best friends) who confidently navigate their careers in photography, fashion and celebrity PR to greater heights. Think Japanese Sex and the City.

Tokyo Urbanite Group B are an equally attractive, but younger gang of scrappy, struggling actors and artists. Reliant on an over-saturated social media and the nepotistic whims of the uncaring Gate Keepers to Success for for any crumb of recognition, these young up and comers are edging closer to eternal obscurity. 

Followers skillfully collides these two worlds with far reaching consequences for all concerned. The obscure shoot to fame to notoriety then to obscurity once more and the famous revaluate their tenuouse roles at the top and the harsh reality of an idustry that quntifies everyone's value regardless of past endeavours.

A vivid portrayal of how not only do all lives, no matter what the social sphere, touch each other in one way or another, Followers shows the staggering power held by those that have a high social media following.

However, it's not all eye-melting haute couture, fever-dream monster cafes, Asian celebrity cameos (Miyavi, Yu Yamada, Monsta X to name but a few) and insta-worthy cityscapes of Tokyo at night. Hard hitting issues such as miscarriage, breast cancer, women in the workplace, homophobia, love, loss, back-stabbery and the public crucifixion of the famous no longer deemed worthy of fame are topics expertly handled without any overt preachy message. The drama simply unfolds before the viewer who is left to form their own opinions.

While Sacrifice x Success is the dual headed dragon each of the charcters need to over come, it's ultimately friendship and authenticity in following one's own path that is the key to happiness.

Followers is deliciously binge-worthy at just nine forty minute episodes (I watched them all in one go one stormy Saturday) and certainly has the plot subtance to go with the almost unbearably striking visual style. 

Given the electric use of neons and bold, clashing prints, it's no surprise to learn that the director for this, Mika Ninagawa, was also the director for the equally electric 2007 pop art geisha movie Sakuran featuring the rebellious beauty Anna Tsuchiya (Kamikaze Girls)

So, grab the duvet and have a massive mug of tea close at hand and forget all your troubles... by watching someone else's! Just be prepared to lose a few K in your bank account afterward booking the next flight to Tokyo! #holidayenvy #doinitforthegram

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Pokemon Snap for Nintendo Switch Review (2021)

Say 'Cheese', baby! The beloved nineties classic Pokemon Snap was at long last released for Nintendo Switch on April 30th 2021. Originally played on the iconic N64 back in the day and having had low-key forays on various Wii consoles, the hype for Snap to be rebooted for the portable Switch has been... immense.

Allow me to take you back briefly in time, dear reader, and transport you to a world where the pop culture phenomenon that is Pokemon exploded like a Graveler with Self-Destruct on to the unsuspecting youth. 

Pokemon Red, Blue and Yellow for the handheld Nintendo Game Boy were hotter than a pissed off Charizard and the franchise was producing more merchandise and spin-offs than a Ditto in a Day Care produces Eggs.

Pokemon Snap launched in Japan in 1999 with its Western release in 2000. Snap was a basic first person shooter game. Except you shot the Pokemon with a camera. Focusing on Todd Snap - an earnest young voyeur who made numerous cameos in the hit television spin off series. You, as Todd, travel around a small island by jeep taking photos of the denizen Pokemon, advancing through the game based on the quality of your photographs.

(A little bit like a less depressing version of instagram but with more Jurassic Park tendencies.)

The original Snap was a low-effort high result game that was as addictive as it was endearing and enjoyable. Despite being bound by the game's Jeep/One Way Rail system, there was still a level of on-the-ground immersion in the world of Pokemon never before experienced.

Getting to interact with the Pokemon that you previously only battled with now in a non-combat environment was a delight. Seeing your favourite critters up close in their habitat acting goofy or kawaii was a real mood lifter. And after the last year, it's fair to see the mood of the globe needs to be lifted!

Enter 2021 and the eye-melting stunningly pure graphics of the Switch. A game as treasured in the nostalgic hearts of nerds across the world as Snap always poses difficulties for reviewers. Are we praising it unfairly for Nostalgic Purposes? Or are we critiquing it too harshly for Nostalgic Purposes?

After 72 hours of straight playing I can honestly say that your precious childhood memories are safe! While the story has been lightly updated and new characters introduced, this game only benefits from the advanced technology. 

The region has been expanded upon, the PhotoDex now contains a greater variety of Pokemon from later games and not just the first 151 and the fluid game play allows for hours of your time to be frittered away on this whimsically wholesome game. Pester Balls are now Fluff Balls and the good old Jeep is a space age Neo One teleportational pod. Also, the tender friendship between Pichu and Grookey is the most healing salve for the soul out there.

My only quibbles with the game would be the ridiculously long loading lag between scenes; also the fact that there seems to be a fault in the camera recognition when deliberately snapping specific items or Pokemon and it logs as an un-recognisable/unusable in the PhotoDex. 

I'm sure you can imagine that there will be quite the online forum feeding frenzy later in the year the closer we get to the Brilliant Diamond/Shining Pearl re-boots, so for now, just sit back, forget your many crushing worries and enjoy the gentle Neo One ride through the opulent and verdant Lentil region.

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Pokémon Creepypasta: Lavender Town Syndrome

 *Trigger Warning: Suicide. Self Harm. Overgrown Millennial Nerds.*

Konnichiwa! Bonjour! Oi! Hey you! Yeah you, Straight Outta Kanto! What d'ya think you're doing still playing Pokémon!? You're an adult! Pokémon is a children's game! But... what if the only safe time to play Pokémon is as an adult? What, you think that's an excuse to be a giant over-sized child of a nerd? Nah-uh! Pokémon is DANGEROUS for children, haven't you ever heard of... Lavender Town Syndrome!?

Let me paint you a picture, dear readers. It's the mid-to-late nineties. “Pocket Monsters” is the hit new Nintendo Game boy craze in Japan, soon to explode globally and change Western Pop Culture forever. The first two Japanese Pokémon games Red and Green are being gobbled up by wee kiddies everywhere. Choosing their partner Pokémon, playing with balls and naming their rival “ass hat” and “butt face”. Fun, innocent times. Until... they reach the part of the game where they arrive in... Lavender Town.

Lavender Town. Ruining childhoods since 1996.

Lavender Town is a sleepy little village at the foot of Rock Tunnel, inhabited by... GHOSTS! It's main architectural point of interest is the Pokémon graveyard “Pokémon Tower.” Not only does that change things up in the lore because if there's a Pokémon graveyard, that means your furry little friends can die. Bit heavy for a “children's” game. Not only that, the Tower is completely haunted by menacing ghost sprites determined to banish you from the building.

AS WELL (yes, it gets worse!) The building is plagued with traditional Japanese Shinto style exorcists who are all displaying the behaviours of persons possessed by spirits. These possessed exorcists make various demands for your blood and your soul. Cheerful!

ON TOP OF THAT.

The chief ghost of Pokémon Tower is in fact the restless, vengeful spirit of a murdered Pokémon Marowak. Marowak was murdered for profit by the evil Team Rocket, much to her child, Cubone's, latent distress. So... dead friends, dead mothers, exorcists, ghosts... It can't get worse, can it?

YES.

It's the Lavender Town musical score that is the primary cause for concern and the fuel behind a decade or more of urban legends and creepypastas. The theme that plays throughout the town is deeply eerie and unsettling to begin with. Perfect atmosphere for a haunted AF town.

HOWEVER.

Rumour has it. In the original Japanese Red and Green versions of the Pokémon the initial Lavender Town theme score contained secret binaural notes only perceptible to children under the age of twelve. These binaural beats were allegedly included to subconsciously add a heightened level of terror in the children playing, giving old Lavender Town that extra spooky kick.

Unfortunately, these supposed binaural notes worked a little too well. Any child who played the game and heard these secret notes were driven mad and compelled to commit suicide by exceptionally vile and gruesome methods. Dismemberment and self-immolation are the most common methods of suicide associated with this urban legend. Those who were purported to have died were claimed to have suffered from “Lavender Town Syndrome.”

The notes were removed from later edits of the game and the original scores never made it over in the Western versions of Pokémon Red and Green, which in the West was Red, and, Green became Blue. The west never received a version of the Japanese Pokémon Blue.

Of course. Game Freak and Nintendo would never have actually put suicide-inducing binaural notes in to their video game scores. There's no denying the music of Lavender Town is freaky, but this ultimately is just a very sick, albeit intriguing urban legend.

It's almost impossible to find the origins of this urban legend. However, it's fair to say that the Easter Egg of you having possibly killed your rival's Raticate and landing them in the Lavender Town Pokémon Tower and the fact that the Lavender Town theme was played as the background to the viral “Hypno's Lullaby” video on YouTube in the noughties are most likely contributing factors.

If you feel like never sleeping again, there are videos on the internet of the “original” binaural note filled version of the Lavender Town theme, as well as a version of the score played BACKWARDS.

Sweet screams, I mean dreams! And one more thing... that white hand on your shoulder... it's not real...

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Yen Press Manga Review: Ibitsu (Twisted)

Konnichiwa! Howdy! Dia Duit! If a gruesomely drawn extremity horror with sick fan service based on a Creepypasta style urban legend with a deranged Gothic Lolita as the lead is your cup of tea then...

Welcome! Welcome! Sit down, grab a seat and let Straight Outta Kanto pour you a steaming mug of undiluted nightmare fuel.

“Ibitsu” by Haruto Ryo is a 2010 horror manga by Square Enix and Yen Press. “Ibitsu” is the Japanese word for “Twisted” - as in twisted and perverse. The complete thirteen chaptered volume by Yen Press also features two bonus “Twisted” side stories “Hall of Dolls” and “The Curious case of The Editor.”

Ibitsu lead protagonist, Kazuki Ito, is an ordinary young Japanese man who makes the fatal mistake of answering an odd, if seemingly innocuous, question from a stranger at the garbage dump one night:

“Would you... have a little sister?”

Considering the fact that the question is asked by a strange, scruffy young girl lying amongst the discarded neighbourhood garbage bags... dressed in a Gothic Lolita outfit... at night... You'd honestly think Kazuki would have the wherewithal to see (and avoid) serious trouble when he sees it!? Bless his cotton socks.

Little does Kazuki know that the girl before him demanding his family history is in fact the Demon Lolita from the local urban legends. Legend has it, if you are approached by the Demon Lolita she will ask “Would you... have a little sister?” If you answer “No!” she will kill you there and then in a “twisted” way. If you answer “Yes!” Well...

Let's just say Kazuki finds out the bloody, brutal way that accidentally becoming an urban legend's onii-chan (Big Brother) isn't all it's... cracked... up to be. Demon Lolita is determined to not only be the ONLY sister in Kazuki's life (which poses a grave and gory inconvenience for his ACTUAL sibling), Demon Lolita is determined to be the ONLY person in his life full stop!

Cue envelope pushing (and often times erring on the psycho sexual side) violence, cliff hanger after cliff hanger, fantastically drawn cinematic style horror scenes and brilliant use of tropes from what seems like every urban legend out there.

If you're in any way squeamish or only a casual fan of light horror, this is definitely not the manga for you. I would also advise a trigger warning for anyone prone to distress from scenes of self-harm, abuse or sexual violence.

However, if you've a“twisted” taste sense of humour and a strong stomach then I cannot recommend Haruto Ryo's Ibitsu enough. Fun fact, I loved this manga so much I even got a tattoo of the Demon Lolita on my right arm shortly after reading and still don't regret it!

There's something perversely enjoyable about allowing yourself to be drawn in as a spectator of Kazuki's unravelling descent in to madness, the spiralling plot twists of Demon Lolita's origins and the dizzying realisation that Haruto Ryo is NOT afraid to “go there.”

But tell me quickly, before you go... Would you... have... a little sister?

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Horror Anime Review: Elfin Lied

Konnichiwa! Salut! Guten Tag! Fancy a retro anime review about a kawaii magical girl with an absence of clothes but an excess of psychic killing powers!? Of course y'do! Can you guess what show Straight Outta Kanto is talking about? Of course y'can! 'Tis none other than Lynn Okamoto's controversial horror “Elfin Lied.”

Originally a long running manga serialised in Shueisha's Weekly Young Jump from 2002 – 2005, Elfin Lied was given the anime adaptation treatment in 2004. Not dissimilar to the Game of Thrones situation (but thankfully much less disappointing), the 13 episode long anime of Elfin Lied was made while the manga was still being written. Anime director Mamoru Kanbe had to get creative on how to satisfactorily wrap up the series, so the endings of both the show and manga do differ.

Elfin Lied centres on a world where unaware humans are not alone as a species. An underground mutant race known as the “Diclonius” are very much among us. Sadly for us humans, Diclonius are mankind's enemy; born with horns on their heads and equipped with super-strong psychic “vectors” that are dismember-ing-er-ific weapons of human annihilation. A secret organisation has been discreetly murdering new-born babies presenting as Diclonius and also conducting horrific experiments on any poor, dear murderous mutants captured alive.

Part of the controversy of Elfin Lied is the fact that the sadistic and vicious Diclonius presented in show are all doe-eyed, daddy issue filled, very young females. “Kawaii” indeed. By today's standards, it does feel unacceptable to watch a show that overly-sexualizes mentally incapacitated infantile female characters. (For example, could Chobits realistically be made today?) However, it was a different era back in 2004 and must be judged accordingly.

Not only that, the show is absolutely rife with gut-wrenching story lines and plot twists featuring some of the most wretched and socially pathetic characters you will ever weep for. The brutality, hardship and bloodshed each human and Diclonius goes through in this harrowing yet beautiful anime are all designed to provoke the viewer in to wondering who is really the threat to mankind here? Mutants, or man itself?

The sexual abuse, extreme gore and psychological trauma means Elfin Lied is not exactly the ideal choice for a casual watch. However, the gorgeous old school gouache background animation, heart wrenching musical motif and brief glimpses of camaraderie and kinship that the characters strive to maintain throughout some truly vicious odds make this a worthy watch.  

I can guarantee you though, “Lucy” is one “Elf” (in Lied) you won't want on your shelf this festive season.

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Diamond Pearl Remake & Pokemon Snap News

Alola, fellow Pokemon nerds! Happy new year to you all, and, happy (soon to be!) 25th anniversary of the Pokemon franchise! Yes, February 27th 2021 will mark twenty five whole years since Pocket Monsters was Quick Attacked on an unsuspecting Earth... Well. That escalated quickly! 

No doubt all eyes will be on the annual Pokemon Direct announcement that usually coincides with International Pokemon Day. (February 27th) Eyes will open extra wide this year as once again, "Gen 4" remake rumours are more rampant than an Eevee and a Ditto in DayCare. However, as this year is the the 15th anniversary of Pokemon Diamond & Pearl's release (Yikes, I feel old!) and there have been a series of leaks from allegedly reliable leak sources - things are looking more promising than usual. 

Plus, a 25th anniversary during a period where it's still too early to announce a new region/generation means if Game Freak want to make a Splash to celebrate them turning a quarter of a century old... they'll have to pull something BIG out of the bag. (And not just a bicycle...)

Something that we are definitely are getting on Nintendo Switch this year is Pokemon Snap, release date April 30th. 

Pokemon Snap, while most clearly a fan favourite is an odd choice to me for a remake. In past generations there's always been a photographic element included in main games - from Cameron the Photographer (Just when you least expect it...) in Johto all the way to the Rotom Camera in Alola... has this feature been played out? Are Game Freak just floundering for a choice of game to knock out for spring because that's what they normally do? Why Pokemon Snap, why now? Why on the Switch?

I never played Pokemon Snap as a youngster so I am extremely curious as to whether or not this is a game worthy of its legendary love and adoration. Or, will this reboot fall flat on its face as a victim of nostalgia that just can't quite be replicated?

That being said, I can't wait to finally experience this game first hand and I have high hopes of its aesthetic achievements. The Switch is a gorgeous little machine, I'm sure Snap will be executed with style - let's just hope there's some substance to go with it to...

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Japan Does Christmas - an "Itsudatte My Santa!" Review.

How many weird festive holiday rituals do you personally hold dear and adhere to every year? Humans by nature are creatures of habit and slaves to tradition. Regardless of your religion or beliefs, there's no denying that December is a month entrenched in traditions, habits, rituals and ceremony. One such tradition for me, Straight Outta Kanto, is my annual viewing of the anime adaptation of Ken Akamatus's short manga "Itsudatte My Santa!".

Fellow old school manga and anime nerds will know Ken Akamatsu as the creator of legendary harem comedy Love Hina. In 1997 Ken drew a short one-shot manga for Shonen Magazine "Itsudatte My Santa!" This was later adapted into an anime OVA in Japan, 2005. Released in the west in 2007. 

We all know that Japan has some of the most eccentric and endearingly bizarre interpretations of the Christian holiday of "Christmas." Traditional turkey and ham!? No! KFC dominates the season with millions of Japanese families chowing down every yule to a bucket of chicken wings. Who cares about Valentine's Day!? December 24th is the hottest date night for young Japanese couples. And who can forget about our lord and saviour Santa Claus, nailed to a literal cross in department store windows across Tokyo!? Holiday visual merchandising... crucifixion style. 

I personally feel that My Santa is the most gloriously weird snap shot of Christmas-meets-Japan. Imagine It's a Wonderful Life crammed into A Christmas Carol but with more Big Titty Magical Girls from the North Pole.

My Santa centres around a dispirited young man on Christmas Eve in Tokyo. Our down-hearted hero is alone, once again, shunned by family and friends on this festive night - which also doubles as his birthday. For dear young hero's birthday is in fact December 24th. In honour of such a Christmassy birth date, his (now absent) parents decided to call their child... Santa!

So here we are, December 24th and young Santa is depressed that he's all on his ownio. Cue his Guardian Angel, or rather, Guardian Santa Mai - a flat-chested but large spirited Santa in Training from the Santa School in the North Pole come to Earth to give boy Santa hope and joy this holiday. (Yes. That is more Santas than a police line-up from Hell.) 

Hilarious misunderstandings, public "pervert!" embarrassments, slap-stick whimsy, a stuffed reindeer named Pedro and an uproarious run in with a Yakuza boss and his now smashed Christmas Cake ensue. In true holiday special fashion, by the end of the episode boy Santa has learned the true meaning of Christmas, the importance of family and the value of friendship. There's even a little cherry blossom of love blooming between Santa and Mai. 

Does the old saying that every time a bell rings an angel gets it's wings still hold true here? Like Hell it does! Every time a bell rings a Santa in Training gets her titties! Brace your eyes for an absolutely bonkers Magical Girl Sexy Santa transformation at the end.

The "Ittsudatte My Santa!" OVA DVD even comes complete with a second Summer Beach Special episode. Sexy Santas at the beach. Oh Japan. Never change. 

56 minutes of my life every Christmas Eve is dedicated to this weird little gem, purely because it reminds me that life and its traditions are not to be taken so seriously. Life is for living and laughing and the one thing "Ittsudatte My Santa!" will make you do is laugh.

Happy Christmas and New Year from Straight Outta Kanto.

Tell Straight Outta Kanto what you think on:

Twitter: @KantoOutta and @VenusDeVilo

Instagram: @straightoutta_kanto and @venus_de_vilo

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StraightOuttaKanto91/ and https://www.facebook.com/VenusDeViloTheVoiceOfHorror/

Join the Pokemon Fan Club Ireland Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1623889321229114/

Listen to the Straight Outta Kanto Podcast Radio Show https://open.spotify.com/show/0FRul8v6Xpy8JFD8clhlok?si=-f1uecxqT5erPBqigRIALg and the music of Venus de Vilo https://open.spotify.com/artist/7hSAeNpNk7ydf8lgE93sHn on Spotify.

Santa Paws - Christmas Pet Advice

Here at Straight Outta Kanto it's not just Pokémon we care about – it's all little monsters, pocket or pet! Here's a few extra bonus tips and tricks I discovered while writing my “Pets Love Christmas” features for Ireland’s Christmas FM radio station in 2019.

Deck The Paws:

When decking those halls, check first what's on the naughty list! Items such as poinsettia plants, tinsel, and sharp pointy baubles should be kept away from curious little paws.

However, Christmas roses, traditional paper chains and shatter proof ornaments are animal friendly alternatives!

And while you may not want to see Mommy kissing Santa Claus under the mistletoe, artificial mistletoe is kinder to the environment and less hazardous to your pets for when you get merry this Christmas.

Holiday Hams:

Don't know what to get your hamster for the holidays?

An environmentally friendly gift for all small animals are cardboard tubes and boxes filled with sugar free yoghurt drops and light tissue. Build a small sand bath out of lollipop sticks and some card or string some unwanted festive socks as hanging hammocks in their cage!

This ensures no one gets left out of unwrapping presents this Christmas

Festive Fatties:

Christmas may be a time for giving – but careful not to give too much to the cat and dog when they come begging for a share in the pudding and mince pies! Light snacks made from animal safe ingredients baked in festive moulds and shapes mean your pet can join in the feasting – but not need to join a gym!

Rover Roasting on an Open Fire...

Make sure the heat's not too hot to handle for your pets this Yuletide!

When roasting chestnuts on an open fire always ensure a fire guard is in place on any holiday hearth and animals are not left unsupervised.

The same applies for candles! A classic centrepiece for festive displays – pet friendly alternatives are synthetic battery operated candles.

And while fairy-lights add a twinkling magic to any Christmas tree, those little bulbs and wires should be banished to the naughty list when tiny teeth are around!

Animal Advent:

Advent Calendars are a great excuse for a sneaky bit of chocolate – I mean CHEER, in the mornings! A purrfect way to include your pet in a nibble this Nollaig is to make your own animal friendly advent calendar.

Take an old cereal box and cut out 24 little windows. Fill the box with soft tissue then place a healthy, animal safe treat behind each window.

This is ideal for animals with a restricted diet or fussy tastes.

Encourage your pet to open the Advent Calendar windows with their paws – let them entertain themselves – and the family.

Hoppin' Around The Christmas Wheek:

Do you prefer rabbits to reindeer? Guinea Pigs over the Grinch?

One way to keep your family fur-balls hoppin' around the Christmas tree this year is with some home-made presents that are kind to your pocket – and the planet.

Cut out the bottom of an old cylindrical pop-up laundry basket, lay it on its side – and you've got a DIY bunny tunnel for hours of fun.

Old card board tubes stuffed with hay provide environmentally friendly feeders and boredom breakers.

Want to feed your pets and entertain your guests at the dinner table? A small twine washing line between table legs with fresh lettuce leaves pegged on make for an unforgettable dining experience!

Chilly Willy:

The weather outside may be frightful, but that doesn't mean winter can't be delightful! Wrapping up like a Christmas present isn't just for humans – your pets need to stay warm too!

Keep all beds, cages and tanks out of cold, draughty areas. Animal safe heat pads and lamps in and around your pet's sleeping area is a hot idea for chilly nights!

And, if you want to keep your pets as cosy as a pair of fluffy socks on a snowy day, cutting up and re-purposing old Christmas jumpers and pyjamas is a cost-effective, and fashionable, way to provide extra blankets and bedding for your four-legged loved ones.

Winter Wildlife:

Want to ensure we can all keep walking in a winter wonderland? Helping out your local wildlife in a few small ways this season can ensure that everyone big and small can have a Merry Christmas.

Leave undisturbed wild areas in your garden. Piles of leaves and grass can make the perfect nest for animals to hibernate, hide and rest in.

Food for birds is scarce in winter so providing a range of seeds, fresh unsalted peanuts and table scraps such as apples, pears and cheese, dried meal worms and wax worms will really spread good cheer to our feathered friends!

Clean water and food will encourage any local hedgehogs to return regularly. Minced meat, fresh liver, tinned dog food and scrambled eggs are all a little hoggy's holiday favourite

Paupers can Pamper Too:

Being brilliant on a budget can be a challenge at Christmas! However, home made DIY presents mean you can pamper your pets without being a pauper.

For cats and dogs, old clean socks filled with either their favourite cat nip or squeaky toy can be a handy stocking filler. Some strong rope wrapped around a small plank of wood can be a low-budget cat scratcher while a hollowed out tennis ball filled with treats can make any doggie smile.

For heart felt festive ornaments, take an imprint of your pet's paw in some non-toxic air-dry modelling clay and then decorate the imprint with glitter and ribbons once it's dried. Another crafty family favourite is to take an old photograph of you and your pet and create a decorative frame out of card!

Binge Babies:

Twas' the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring... except maybe... the dog!?

The festive season is the perfect excuse for scrapping the usual day-to-day life and indulging in long, lazy nights in front of the T.V. with a good old box set – but try telling that to your pets!

While we may enjoy a break from the norm, it's still important to ensure your pet maintains its daily routine to prevent any seasonal anxiety or stress. Turn walking the dog into a fun family activity. Make sure meal times stay the same.

And, if your home is about to filled with returning friends and family from afar, ensure your pet has a quiet safe space to relax away from the hustle and bustle while introducing them to any new guests one at a time at the pet's pace.

Tell Straight Outta Kanto what you think on:

Twitter: @KantoOutta and @VenusDeVilo

Instagram: @straightoutta_kanto and @venus_de_vilo

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StraightOuttaKanto91/ and https://www.facebook.com/VenusDeViloTheVoiceOfHorror/

Join the Pokemon Fan Club Ireland Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1623889321229114/

Listen to the Straight Outta Kanto Podcast Radio Show https://open.spotify.com/show/0FRul8v6Xpy8JFD8clhlok?si=-f1uecxqT5erPBqigRIALg and the music of Venus de Vilo https://open.spotify.com/artist/7hSAeNpNk7ydf8lgE93sHn on Spotify.

Comic Con tricks and tips 101

Greetings! While the conventions of 2020 were mostly held online, it can't hurt to prepare in advance of next year's (hopefully) in real life events! Thankfully, Straight Outta Kanto is a convention veteran and is more than willing to impart their sensei-wisdomness to you...

1. RESEARCH:

What are you in to!? What is your nerd-dom!? If you're more introverted and like video games a smaller, local gaming con might suit you better than diving straight into one the hyper-huge DC/Marvel specific Comic Con style cons. However, if you like the wild crowds and even wilder big names then you dive right in to the deep end, baby!

Conventions are always a freight train of emotions and sensory over-loads at the best of times so a quick Google search or chatting to knowledgeable nerds in your community can be a great starting point for finding out what the local scene has to offer.

Whatever con you do decide to start out with, make sure you book your accommodation and source your travel well in advance - take it from me, no one wants to be stuck in the back arse of no where after a convention is over with no way to get home and all the hostels in the area fully booked. (Again...)

2. The Bare Necessities': 

It feels weird reminding adults to eat food and drink water but it's so surprising how easy it actually is to forget - especially during the excitement of a convention! I know the thought of bringing a large bottle of water and a packed lunch with you to a con is a cumbersome pain in the arse idea. Who wants to be carrying lunch around like an over-grown school child!?

The reality is however, depending on the location of your event, water and basic food may not be provided by the venue. On the occasion that refreshment is provided at a convention, it's usually grossly overcharged, undersized and not filled with any sort of the good stuff designed to help your body last through a long hot slog through winding convention halls. Take care of yourself - and your wallet!

3. BAGS! 

 Hands up if yer mammy has a plastic bag filled with lots of other little plastic bags somewhere in the house!

RAID. THAT. BAG BAG.

One of the top complaints at every convention I have ever been to is "Ah sure... my backpack's full, I can't carry anymore otherwise I'd buy this/that/the other." Fill your big bag with little bags and bring it with you to the con.

Vendors and artists don't always provide bags with their merchandise, and if they do, how long d'ya really think a small paper bag is going to fare over a full weekend of conning and travel!?

Think about the planet, think about your poor weak arms, shove a few placcy bags in your coat pockets and shop to your heart's content!

4. CASH IS KING: 

While the future is plastic and Tap-pa Tap-pa Tap-pa reigns supreme on the consumer trends - bring physical legal tender cash money to a convention with you. Larger merch stalls or big store vendors may have card payment options, but the chances are smaller stalls, artists, charity donation buckets, raffle tickets and a whole host of other convention related traders won't. Also, I've seen it myself endlessly - card machines break, wifi wanes and batteries die - cash is KING. Take the pressure off your plastic and deny yourself no convention pleasure.

5. Pain in the neck...

 Going to a convention in full Cosplay!? Cosplay clothes are the epitome of "Fashion Before Function". Be realistic - can you realistically walk, run, sit, stand, pee, poop, eat, drink, BREATHE, walk around a jam packed arena unimpeded in your costume!? If not, get some advice and make some cheat adjustments.

Same goes for non-cosplayers! Conventions in general are hot, crowded, long and tiring. You will sweat in strange places, your feet will hurt and you'll (hopefully) be carrying loads of amazing rare merch from your childhood that you've just bought...! While looking glam at a con is the goal, not ruining your own day by wearing too much (or too little) and the wrong shoes is also a perfectly acceptable goal. Do you. Be comfortable.

6. Support the Arts:

Conventions are an amazing opportunity to buy merch and memorabilia that you wouldn't always have the chance to buy in mainstream stores. But, before you drop another twenty quid on yet another Pop Figure from the local Game Stop who just so happen to have a big ass vendor stall - think about the little folks in the artist alley who have reasonably priced, thoughtful unique and hand-crafted prints and wares just dying to be bought. You've all year to buy generic mass produced merch from big stores, when are you ever going to see this travelling artist or prop maker again?

7. Permit me...

 Conventions are photo-opportunity of the year! Almost everyone makes a massive effort costume and Cosplay wise. Even if you don't, you'll still be making precious treasured memories with friends that you'll want to commemorate forever. HOWEVER. When wanting to get a photo with anyone at a convention, always ASK first! It's just common sense and basic manners. Just because someone is all dolled up doesn't mean they want to caught off-guard by your sneaky flash! Chances are, someone who has spent months hand making a costume WILL want to have their work admired and photographed, but give them the chance to say yes and the right to say no.

8. Shake ya ass, BUT watch ya self...

Yes, conventions are (mostly) filled with happy shining people who are a magical bretheren of nerds and super nerds just waiting to take you under the wing of their fandom - but there are weirdoes and predators out there. Ya get'm in all walks of life and conventions are no different. Not everyone who wants to hug you or take a photo with you will just be a nice person. Sadly.

Make friends, but exercise caution. Trust your gut instinct. Practise basic 'stranger danger' - EVEN IF YOU'RE AN ADULT. Try not to go alone to places - and if you do have to split up from the group STAY IN CONTACT.

There's all sorts of chancers out there, don't let them take a chance with you.

9. VOLUNTEER! 

Want free tickets to a convention? Behind the scenes access to all the excitement and activities? The chance to meet new people and gain experience for your C.V.!?

VOLUNTEER AT A CONVENTION!

Yes! It's exhausting. Yes! It's full-on. Yes! It's WORTH EVERY SWEATY TANTRUM OVER FORGOTTEN DOOR-CODES AND FAILED POWER POINT PRESENTATION IN A ROOM FULL OF EXPECTANT GUESTS AND PANELISTS.

It's good for you and supports your local scene - try it at least once.

10. DON'T HOLD BACK:

Conventions are the one place you can forget about the real world and fully immerse yourself in absolute fantasy. DO IT. Attend as many panels as you can. Buy as many boxes of Pocky as you can cram in your mouth. Sample that Saké. Get an over priced photo of yourself on the Iron Throne. Speak Pigeon-Japanese to your peers. Befriend an artist. Buy back issues. DO. IT. ALL. Conventions come and go and are only once a year - don't regret ANYTHING.

Tell Straight Outta Kanto what you think on:

Twitter: @KantoOutta and @VenusDeVilo

Instagram: @straightoutta_kanto and @venus_de_vilo

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StraightOuttaKanto91/ and https://www.facebook.com/VenusDeViloTheVoiceOfHorror/

Join the Pokemon Fan Club Ireland Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1623889321229114/

Listen to the Straight Outta Kanto Podcast Radio Show https://open.spotify.com/show/0FRul8v6Xpy8JFD8clhlok?si=-f1uecxqT5erPBqigRIALg and the music of Venus de Vilo https://open.spotify.com/artist/7hSAeNpNk7ydf8lgE93sHn on Spotify.